The Advice given by My Parent That Saved Us during my time as a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was just in survival mode for twelve months."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to manage the challenges of fatherhood.

However the actual experience rapidly turned out to be "utterly different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health problems surrounding the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into acting as her main carer as well as taking care of their baby boy Leo.

"I handled every night time, each diaper… each outing. The role of both parents," Ryan shared.

After nearly a year he reached burnout. It was a conversation with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The simple words "You are not in a good spot. You require assistance. What can I do to help you?" opened the door for Ryan to speak honestly, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His experience is far from unique, but seldom highlighted. Although society is now better used to discussing the strain on mums and about PND, far less attention is paid about the difficulties fathers go through.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to ask for help

Ryan feels his challenges are linked to a broader inability to communicate among men, who still hold onto harmful ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the fortress that just takes the pounding and remains standing every time."

"It's not a show of failure to ask for help. I didn't do that quick enough," he explains.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health before and after childbirth, explains men often don't want to acknowledge they're finding things difficult.

They can think they are "not justified to be asking for help" - especially in preference to a new mother and infant - but she stresses their mental state is equally important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad offered him the chance to ask for a break - taking a short trip away, separate from the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He realised he needed to make a change to focus on his and his partner's feelings alongside the logistical chores of looking after a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has reshaped how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he wishes his son will read as he matures.

Ryan thinks these will help his son to better grasp the vocabulary of emotion and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The concept of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen did not have consistent male a father figure. Even with having an "incredible" connection with his dad, long-standing difficult experiences meant his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, making difficult their relationship.

Stephen says bottling up feelings caused him to make "bad actions" when in his youth to change how he felt, finding solace in drink and drugs as escapism from the anguish.

"You turn to substances that are harmful," he says. "They might temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Advice for Getting By as a New Father

• Open up to someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, speak to a family member, your spouse or a professional how you're feeling. It can help to lighten the load and make you feel less alone.
• Remember your hobbies - continue with the things that helped you to feel like you before having a baby. Examples include playing sport, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Look after the physical health - a good diet, staying active and where possible, resting, all contribute in how your emotional health is faring.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - hearing about their journeys, the challenges, along with the good ones, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Understand that asking for help does not mean you've failed - taking care of yourself is the best way you can look after your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen expectedly found it hard to accept the passing, having not spoken to him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's committed not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead provide the stability and emotional support he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the emotions constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they faced their issues, transformed how they communicate, and learned to control themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… processing things and handling things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I said, on occasion I think my purpose is to guide and direct you on life, but in reality, it's a two-way conversation. I am discovering as much as you are in this journey."