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Basic Toilet Humor

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the comfort zone of your Daily, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and key events, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to find out that an online journalist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who took the rest room a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, the Italian striker popped into a local college for toilet purposes during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday marks 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager post a quick discussion within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly over the past twenty-five years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|