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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the mainstream. At the time, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, seeking a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a cohort who matured during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed guide to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about love, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most popular memes, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal traits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes crazy, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately kill any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {